The Art of Choosing Zero

Chasing Zero - The Art of Choosing Zero: A Moment of AweSome very wise words from my friend, David Poleski. He is the original Zero, but more about that another time.Tipping my hat to you this morning. I wish we could have a conversation in person about all of this.

Zero, of course, occurs with the realization that the person we take ourselves to be is, in reality, a linguistic construct...an intellectual figment. Being ‘saved’ is to realize that there’s no one there to BE saved.Jesus of Nazareth put it thus: ‘...he whosoever loses HIS life (sees beyond the ego) finds life, and he whosoever finds life loses his own (realizes ‘Zero’).We’ve all Experienced this in one way or another…either in meditation or, more likely, when we are so engaged in doing something we love, that we lose all notions of self...time disappears and along with it, the ego.And when this happens, the great joy appears. This happens for two reasons…the first is, again, that our notion of self has disappeared (along with its myriad of problems). The other is that when we are doing something we love, we are doing what we are meant to be doing…what we were created for…what we were bio-chemically created to be doing.This is the same as doing God‘s will for, if God created us, ‘He’ created us with those very bio-chemical predispositions. When one encounters joy then, one can be sure that they are doing what they were created to be doing and, in addition, have become ‘Zero’ in the process.Notice, that when we are in joy, we are completely married to the present moment....time completely disappears. Again, Jesus of Nazareth put it thus: ‘....The way is wide that leads to destruction and many there are that go in thereat. The way is narrow that leads to righteousness, and a few there be that find it.'The ‘wide way’ he was talking about is the past and future (Where, when we are engaged in either of those we are in misery). The ‘narrow way’ is the present moment, and when we are in the present moment we are in peace and joy....and are at the place where the ego has disappeared and we have become Zero.Whoops…gotta fly. We really do need to talk about all of this in person...

The Power of the Wedge

Chasing Zero: The Power of the WedgeIn AA we have formed the habit of carrying chips in our pockets to designate long lengths of sobriety. As in, 30 years is a great accomplishment. However, I haven’t found that to be true; I was closer to a drink my 21st year than I ever was my first; a more perilous 45th year than the 25th.So instead, I carry on my key chain - a wedge. Check it out: a small point on one end and a larger surface in the back.Just before the wedge begins there’s a place called Zero. And that is the place where a hunch, an idea, an inspiration, or a grudge sets the point in place.

The tip of the wedge symbolizes a small good or a small bad choice that can end either in a huge accomplishment affecting millions or someone’s tragic demise.Inspiration or grudge? How do you wish your life to be.Chasing Zero.

The Journey Begins

No One Did This To Me But Me

On December 25, 1973, after an eight-hour dinner - a dinner where no alcohol was served, I returned to my shack on the Port Madison Indian Reservation. I stared at the mirror on the bathroom wall.The image in the mirror was more than just kinda rough. A bloated, stringy-haired, red-faced wino was looking back. Drug-addled me for sure, but I was sober for the first time in years. I talked to the man in the mirror, "No one did this to you but you.”With that simple statement I was able to see the real source of all my woes...me. Not my mom, not my dad, not the judge, not even Vietnam. The source of my troubles was me.

I can never change you. I can always change me. The journey had begun.

Chasing Zero

Started a new blog topic, called "Chasing Zero."In this idea of chasing zero...It’s really a study of the greatest beginning moments of my life and how they all have been predicated by tremendous loss of one kind or another. Rising of the Phoenix and all that. And from those moments of loss have come tremendous power. And now that I’m in this beautiful last stage of my life I’m exploring the idea of a graceful exit, without all the maudlin trappings. The power of zero is the power of God. No doubt.How best to tell that story? And how best to explain this great paradox...

Enjoy this journey with me, won't you?

Winos' Woodstock Love Fest

Always happy to be amongst those with their boots on the ground who are making a difference and bettering people's lives.(Taken after my performance of "A Guru Named Frank" at Winos' Woodstock Love Fest at Infinite Recovery in Austin, TX - benefiting The 24 Hour Club, http://www.northaustinfoundation.com/)

Chasing Zero

 One of my dearest friends, David Poleski, was a major entertainer on the streets of Seattle Washington for about 13 years. He was known as Zero the Mime. A brilliant showman - juggling, sleight-of-hand magic, ukulele performances, & pratfalls galore. He wowed em!But his greatest talent was an eerie ability to capture a persona; to mimic a passerby so completely as to be his or her cartoon image; a breathing cartoon walking inches behind.One day as he was practicing some sleight-of-hand magic and juggling, I asked him: “What’s with the name Zero?”I’ll never forget what he said: “Well, I only have the needed power to mimic when I am not me. When I am more them, David Poleski is zero.”He went about juggling, then stopped and asked me this: “What’s the most important part of a cup?”I threw something out: “The handle?”He commenced to juggle then said: “No it’s the hole. You can do without a handle. Can’t do without the hole.”My greatest power, too, comes when I’m less concerned about myself, and begin to focus on what’s important to others; still chasing Zero.

Resolutions or Intentions?

Resolution noun | res-o-lu-tion| \re-zə -lü- shən\ 1. A firm decision to do or not to do somethingA firm decision? Sounds hard to me. Synonyms of “hard” include resolute, adamant, unfaltering… the list goes on. But there certainly seems to be no room for error. Or change. Certainly no room for glee, or awe.No wonder we fail to achieve our New Year’s resolutions. Resolutions are without surprise, without awe, without glee. It’s a gain that we are supposed to have. One we must achieve.I have before me 12 intentions that I have set to attract in 2019. If I firmly seek glee, if I firmly chase joy by exercising gratitude, I have found that over the last 30 odd years or so that my intentions have often come to be. Always surprisingly, always imperfectly, always less than firm. And always with room for glee.

The Power of Smaller

If I’m living a life of intention, seeking the discipline to place the spiritual life first, then there has to be a pay off. The reward for spiritual exercise in my life has been humility. Not a humility born of weakness but humility that is a power. The power of honesty that is spiritually driven .As the power of honesty gets greater,  I actually become smaller and less interested in myself, less interested in my little plans and designs, in what I can get, more interested in what I can give, and more interested in being a giver than a taker.The irony of all this is that as I strive to become less  important, as my design becomes less self-driven, I’ve noticed others seek my council. I’m more important to others as I become less important to myself.As I am driven to become a larger spiritual entity I realize I’m becoming smaller in all kinds of different areas. Emotionally I no longer have to measure up. As your opinion of me becomes less important I’ve realized that others have a greater opinion of me. As I become less self-important, I become more important to you.I’ve been able to start living in an enlightened manner, finding more answers come to me by intuition and inspiration than by deliberate effort. My mental facilities start operating more intuitively. What used to be a hunch gradually becomes inspiration. I start relying on that which I cannot quantify so easily.The answers  just come.