Plague of the Negative Bias

The Nielsen Norman group states: "Negativity bias is the tendency for humans to give more weight to negative experiences."

So, If our dominant thoughts shape our material environment, we may be attracting misfortune more often than we attract good fortune to our lives. 

Listen to the banter in your head for a while. Try that for a day. Mostly gossip? Negative messages of one kind or another? Is every sniffle a sign of virus? Is every appointment designed to avoid imagined peril? What about the state of our nations? The state of our economy and  it's effect on you? Painting with a negative brush or a positive one?

Important stuff you see, because I believe we are apt to attract our dominant thoughts.

Is the life you were imagining the one you wish to have? Are you imagining glorious outcomes or dire outcomes?

Join me this November for a 21 day exercise in positivity. Join me on a dream quest. Let's attract wealth of many kinds.

The Nuts and Bolts of Calmness

First we must wish to be calm. Then we must wish to remain so. (A decision has to be made).A morning prayer recited.Listing things that make us grateful.Guided meditation.A reading for the day.

These are all activities that still the mind. And these moments of stillness are the treasure we are seeking. Moments of calm. Priceless.Now we've established that we can be calm. Next the task of remaining calm.A worrisome thought has a beginning. And all of those beginnings sound something like this: "what's going to happen to me when"… (Fill in the blank with negativity).So it's our job to identify the beginning of a negative thought and stop it in its tracks. You see, I control my mind, my mind does not control me.So when a worrisome thought begins, I stop it by saying "No!!" Then I recall the morning moment of calm.A quick prayerListing a gratitudeReturn to the treasure of the quiet time of day.Decide to be calmIdentify negativityStop it in its tracksRepeat Repeat Repeat.

Calm At All Costs

I was following the thread of an idea in the last few blogs: size matters. Physical size matters of course, but what is the advantage to being emotionally small? And what indeed is emotional smallness?First let me state that for me emotional smallness comes from a discipline that attempts to create spiritual strength.Early morning prayer, early morning meditation, early morning exercises in gratitude, are all things that I use to start the day. Spiritual push-ups if you will.And from these periods of spiritual exercise comes moments of calmness. And that is the result of prayer and meditation. Maybe just a moment, maybe just a small gap of silence, but that can be the foundation to which I will return throughout the day when I find that I am no longer calm.And these days are filled with events that are certain to ruffle our feathers.One of the intentions that came from the 21 day discipline is to remain calm at all times…calm at any costs. The ego has to go. Worry starts with this phrase “𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙈𝙀??”It is my sincere hope that my assistant Jeanne Smith reminds me that I intend to write about the nuts and bolts of remaining calm in my next blog.The nuts and bolts of calmness…Next time. 

The Dichotomy of a Spiritual Goal

During a conversation with Rabbi Byron Sherwin (of blessed memory), I stated that I set spiritual goals. He correctly observed that one can't attain spiritual goals, one can only hope to perceive them.I can, however, develop spiritual exercises that are attainable, and hope that these positive actions will create positive outcomes. So let's develop some spiritual routines and set some intentions for these routines.

How about a prayer routine made up of two prayers?Here is my intention:Upon awakening I'll practice this routine. (Insert prayers here) I'll do this every day.How about another routine? Another prayer routine, this one made up of one prayer to be used when I begin to think of someone I despise, or when I feel jealousy or anger toward another human being. Make it a simple one something that'll stop the negativity in its tracks. My early mentor said that I could use this: "God bless the SOB."Or something a little more eloquent like "God bless Joe." The intention, of course is to use the prayer to abate negative emotion toward another.How about a routine made up of a positive affirmation? "I feel healthy, I feel happy, I feel great!" The intention being to stop fears of failing health.And one more: this routine is simple. Comprised of one word: "No!"The Intention Is to force your mind to stop spinning into a future full of negative results. When a worrisome thought begins, we identify it, then stop it by saying the word no every time it begins again. "What's going to happen when-" "No!" "What's going to happen if-" "No!" Worrisome thoughts? First I see them, then I stop them.And ultimately - as my spirit becomes stronger, my ego becomes small. 

Size Matters Still

Returning to our discussion of a disciplined life: Older must be smaller. Physicality Is easy to discern. Much is accomplished by losing weight as we age. TV is full of it.But how do we make less in other areas and bring strength to the aging process? How can emotional lessening be accomplished? And how can this accomplishment make us more complete?

"Spirit first", as my good friend, Troy Dillinger, is apt to say. My seventh decade has been focused on my spiritual ripening. Having spiritual discipline allows me to mellow - it just follows, that when I focus on creating and maintaining an attitude of gratitude, my emotional self takes on a whole new complexion. I am unfettered, not ruffled; I can look the world in the eye.I will become more sensible, tactful, considerate, and humble. And all of this comes as I practice a spiritual discipline, and begin to lose interest in myself and gain interest in others.So let's talk about the spiritual discipline…More next week.

Size Matters

Size matters. No, really. I've gotten smaller in nearly every way as I step in to my seventh decade; and it is as it should be. Over the next few months I'll explain about the incredible shrinking me in several areas of my life: physical, material, and emotional/spiritual.First the physical. I quit smoking and committed to becoming fit when I was 35 years old. I allowed myself the luxury of eating and I gained 20 pounds. To that I added running- training for 10 K's and a few half marathons. I ran daily, I ate often, I lifted weights, and life at 185 smoke free pounds felt great. My intention from age 35 to age 40 was to lift large and to run far.

By my age 40 however, my back became a problem. I took up bicycle riding. I joined a team. I took up racing for the next five years. Weekly races, daily training, and pizza by the pound. We called it carb loading. One bad wreck and racing came to a halt by my age 45. CrossFit came next.At age 60 I was 185 pounds, injured, and beginning to feel my wounds. Arthritis was beginning to set in. My knees, my back, my hips, and my shoulders all became arthritic. The solution seemed simple. I needed to weigh less.Older must mean smaller, and a whole new way of thinking for me.More next week.

Small Good Choices

Small Good ChoicesOkay - so together we've written a set of Dreamlike days that is a representative of a perfect life sometime in the future. The perfect spiritual day, a perfect set of emotions as we deal with others in a kind and considerate manner. We've written about all that we might study on this perfect day, how we intend to create vibrant and healthy exercise, and we've visualized our surroundings. All the beautiful trappings attracted by a life well lived.I often say, "If you can dream it, you can see it. If you can see it you may attract it to you over a period of time well lived."

So, what does a day well lived look like? Let's take it by the hour.Our new life will be shaped by making small good choices. Like this:wake up at half hour early. A time for you and God.6:00 am-start with a simple prayer.6:05-6:30 Coffee and a short read from a spiritual text. And write 10 to 12 things for what you're grateful.Small good choice? Carving out a half hour for no one else but you and God.8:00 am. A moment of review of your workday as you imagine a few meetings with difficult people ending exceedingly successfully . Imagine staying calm. How can I be helpful? The small good choice here again is deciding to take a moment to review.11:30 am walk to lunch. Or walk some stairs. Make one lean choice. Just one. 1/2 a sandwich rather than a whole. Soup that has no cream. Small good choices overtimecreate huge results; like a smaller body.1:00-5:00 pm. Make a small good choice to read something every day that expands your mental horizon. 15 minutes will do. I read Spanish each day for about 15 minutes.Next month will talk about attracting intentions (as if by magic) by persisting in making small good choices throughout the day.

Day One, A Day of Awe

Day One, a Day of Awe

I've written down five areas now, And on Thanksgiving day I'll spend a good part of the day reviewing all that has entered my life, all that I have received, all that has come to me in G-d's own time. Here, let me take a moment with you and share a bit of the good that has come from a near fatal accident I had on April 10 of this year 2019.

Spiritual

Emotional

Mental

Physical-What good could possibly come from nine fractured ribs, four ribs that were fractured multiply? What possible good would ever come from a punctured lung, broken scapula, and a concussion? What good would ever come from the hematoma that extended from my waist line to my knee?

1.I am amazed at the strength and fierce advocacy that my wife showed throughout this whole ordeal as she battled the doctor's proclivity for giving me opioids and various addicting drugs that are so bad for me. I am in awe of the fact that love starts feet first. I am so appreciative of the lioness that stands by my side.

2. I am amazed at the power of a PMA (positive mental attitude) in my life. For all of you that understand that the initials LTL (learn to lie), sounds like this: "This is terrific this is fantastic, this is a wonderful thing!"

3. I am so appreciative of the neighbors in my community here In the South than understand the importance of the action that goes with the statement "I think I'll drop on by." Every day for 10 days there was somebody near my side at my bed. Folks that decided to "drop on by."

4. I am amazed at the power of attraction that brought a sixty-year-old Caregiver to help me with my first short term goal of getting out of bed. God, the universe, the power of the laws attracted Darriel Agee to sleep on the couch near me for the first week of recovery here at the house. And oh, what a sight we were! Well over 6 feet tall, a disabled vet who was raised in the deep, deep South on a farm with 10 siblings, Darriel knew as many gospel tunes as I, and we sang and danced in the shower each morning as she cleaned me thoroughly. Darriel is a poet, and on March 28 of 2020 I will be performing my one man show to raise money for the Northern New Mexico Honor Flight. The show will open to closed curtains, and the haunting southern voice of Darriel Agee reciting "This is My Soldiers Prayer."

Wow! The powers of attraction at work in my life.